If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
