"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
