I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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