I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
