Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
