i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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