He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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