we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
