And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We don't watch enough power rangers
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
