Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
