You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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