He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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