Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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