dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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