On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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