So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
