just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
