I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
