Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
