My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
