rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
