Buhtt sex?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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