Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
