I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
