Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Randomize
