i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
