It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
