she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
high people should be assigned attendants
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
