S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
