i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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