All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
