I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Boobs speak an international language.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dick very happy bro
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
