K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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