Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
