so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
