Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize