I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
