I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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