he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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