"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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