My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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