I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
