hell yes lets make some ravioli
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
