please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
