turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize