Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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