He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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