Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
