Small penises have feelings too.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
