Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
