Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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