Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
