Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
