walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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