Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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