What did I eat last night that was bloody?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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