so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm passing your future prison.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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