I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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