So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
